Dear Shar and Carol,
I like the idea of writing and therefore share an experience that marks my life.
First of all, I am grateful with life for making it possible for us to meet each other. I thank you for helping me revise an important part of my life history that had been left behind full of pain, confusion and distress. Bringing forth my memories of Samuel’s birth helped me to understand more this past experience and face very deep fears.
When the option of having a home birth showed-up I thought “why not”, but still full of fear and seeing the possibility as a utopia. The day that we met I felt confident that my delivery could actually be at home just by looking into your eyes. Something happened to me that negative thoughts disappeared. I felt such a deep security that I was able to start sleeping well again at night, and that panic that starter arousing while my due date was approaching disappeared.
Every time that you came to my home I felt cared for, accompanied and safe. I felt like my pregnancy was what had to be: something beautiful and cheerful.
During my delivery day you accompanied me, waited and helped with amazing wisdom. I was able to experience my childbirth without fear, to immerse myself into my beautiful animal side, being a channel of delivering life. Also feeling pain and finding its meaningful sense.
I have embedded in my remembrance the feeling of being in that room and watching you, as well as Alice and Charlie, and perceiving you as protective and welcoming pillars where I could find shelter, being what I had to be at every moment, listening to what my body was saying. At one point I looked at you and saw you as portals between this life and something beyond. I also felt that there was a third language, with which we communicated all perfectly. A language full of love and respect to each of those who were there.
How nice it is to remember that day and realize that, thanks to you, I transcended fears and regain a part of me. And as a final gift, having my son in my arms, being able to smell him, nurture him and cherish him.
You are truly beautiful women that make one of the most wonderful and indispensable works: support and help another human being come to life. I feel very fortunate, I feel grateful and wish that you always have open the way to support more women and receive more babies.
All this I am writing it to you in Spanish because, as you know, my English is very basic and prevents me from expressing me more deeply regarding what has meant for me to give birth to Benjamin. My beloved husband has translated it for me in English.
I am sending the picture I owed you, as well as one of Benjamin after a month from his birth.
Big hugs and see you on December!!